Mommy Necklaces – Jewelry Justified

Mommy Necklaces – Jewelry Justified.

Just when I think my daughter is too old for Mommy Necklaces, she falls ill and wants nothing more than to lay on my chest and play with the pretty beads.  I love their stuff.

Posted in Parenting | 3 Comments

The Edge of Deliciousness

This is probably what I would name the third Bridget Jones movie.  Can you imagine needing to gain 25lbs?  Completely ignoring the health risks, etc. just indulge me for a minute and imagine how totally awesome it would be to get paid quite a lot of money to gain weight.  In actuality, Renée Zellweger will not be gaining weight for her role in the third movie.  She will wear a fat suit.  That must make her sad.  Just think – eating all you want!  Earning money!  Doing both at once!

This is a fantasy of mine.

Well, being able to eat whatever I want and not worry.  It’s my default fantasy right after winning the lottery (no offense to my husband, but this isn’t that kind of blog).  I spent a lot of time thinking about this tonight.  So I thought I’d ask other people how they would gain 25lbs as say, part of their job.  Then I thought, why not make it extra interesting?  Simply eating more of everything is too easy.  I like a challenge after all. What if you could only have 5 different meals?  And then I changed it to 5 meals and 1 dessert because I didn’t want any of my very favorite meals to be left out.  Okay, so these are the rules of the game:

  1. You need to gain 25lbs.  There will be no adverse health risks, you won’t feel lethargic or “icky” inside, and you will revert back to your current weight with no effort at all (I did say it was a game so realism has no place here).
  2. You get to pick 5 meals and 1 dessert ONLY.  It can be any meal you want, and any dessert you want, but you can only eat these things until you gain the 25lbs.
  3. One meal cannot combine several foods, (e.g. Pizza, burgers, steak and fries are not 1 meal.  Something you would realistically consider a meal in your “normal” life).  So, pizza is one meal, a burger is another meal and steak and fries are another meal.  The silver lining is you can eat as many meals as you like in a day.
  4. You can take as long as you need to gain the weight.  Therefore, you might be eating these 5 meals and 1 dessert for a month, 3 months, 6 months, however long it takes you.  Choose wisely, lest you become bored out of your mind and want to stick a fork right in your eye instead of in that 30th serving of lasagna.

Okay!  Here we go.  Comment with your meals and dessert and how much you would love to do this on a scale from 1-10, especially given rule #1.

Of course, I will tell you mine.  Nay, I will show you.

5 Guys

I'm not allowed to eat this in my real life, but in my fantasy I really go to town.

Pizza

Not just any pizza - Grandma Pizza!

pesto shrimp

My husband makes this dish and it's so good. I would use his recipe.

steak

Mmm...mmmm....mmmmmmmmmmmm. And a side of garlic mashed potatoes, please. I don't even have to throw in a vegetable to make myself feel better because there are no adverse effects and my insides won't feel gross! Oh, heck - I like the taste of green beans with this meal. Let's add those too.

mexican

Enchiladas galore. I would add sour scream and avocados on top, too. Lots.

And for dessert….

dessert

Oh man.

And there you have it – pretty simple.  I just thought of something else – if this is all I eat for say, 3 months, I would be pretty tired of all of these dishes by the end and would probably never want to eat them again.

As if it would really take me 3 months to gain 25lbs.  Pfft.

Let’s make that an addendum – you won’t get tired of these foods either.  Because that would be too sad.

I make up rules as I go along.  Just ask anyone who’s met me.

Posted in Food | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

What should I read next?

What Should I Read Next? Book recommendations from readers like you.

I’m trying to figure out what I should read next.  I quite like this site and I love reading a good mystery.  However, it just suggested I read Rule of Four and no offense if you love that book (or if you wrote that book….) but it made me so completely angry I had to wake my husband up to tell him about it.  I’ve never wanted a refund on hours of my life like I have after I finished that book.

Still, good site.  I still don’t know what I’m going to read though.

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A new kind of weight-loss program

Ten weeks ago I decided I really needed to be proactive about losing this baby weight.  I mean, my baby is in high school now (I kid!  My youngest is just over a year).  I have been trying the old-fashioned exercise program of vigorously hoping for 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week.  Would you believe I didn’t lose a pound?  I know, I was shocked too.

So, I finally hunkered down and stopped kidding myself.  I’ve replaced hoping with running and gosh darn it, that works!  Why didn’t I think of this 10 months ago?  But, that’s not news.  No, the secret I am going to share with you, the secret that will make you shed the pounds faster than you can count (20 and counting for me!  20 more to go) is all right here. You can thank me later.

Observe my biggest weight loss tool:

Season 1

Jack Bauer

That’s right, folks.  I know some of you are thinking….Huh?  Understandable.  But before you give up on me let me tell you this – I credit this man with all of my weight loss so far and I am counting on him for future weight loss.  Picture this: New York, 2011, my basement.  I’m on the treadmill trying to find something on the shiny new t.v. I bought exclusively for working out and nothing is catching my eye.  I get bored, I cheat, I stop working out, I feel guilty.  My plan wasn’t working.  Then, I get the urge to go back and watch Season 1 of 24 again.  My husband and I had just watched the series finale (ahem, 1 year after it aired.  Don’t judge me, my DVR has been full since my youngest was born!) and I thought, you know, it’s been so many years since I saw the first season I would like to go back and watch again.  I remembered the shocker ending, but surprisingly nothing that happened beforehand.

One thing I must tell you about right this second is that since I became a Mommy my memory is just….wait, wasn’t I telling you a story?

So, I acquire Season 1 and my big plan is to watch it while I workout because I don’t have time to watch during the day and my bedtime is embarrassingly early.  In fact, my bedtime was an hour ago, but I am here to help you on your weight loss quest!  Put down the Lean Cuisine!  Jack Bauer is the path to a sexy new you.  Yes, you!

Off I go, down to the cold and lonely basement.  Hop on my hamster wheel and turn on my show.  If you’ve never seen 24, well for one you are missing out for sure, but two I don’t want to spoil anything in case you do end up watching it, so leave now.  If you have seen it you’ll know what I mean.

This will get your adrenaline pumping:

Season 1

Jack Bauer knows how to get what he wants

So will this, but I digress:

Kiefer Sutherland

This makes me happy

Aaaaaaanyway, the point is that every time there is a chase scene or a torture scene I get completely lost in it.  I don’t watch the clock on the treadmill and I can push myself to go faster without even concentrating on it.  So thank you, Jack Bauer.  Thank you very much.  I hope that when I have lost the final few pounds I will be worthy of one of your chase scenes.  I won’t even begin to hope I will be strong enough to endure your brand of torture, though.  I mean, come on.  It’s Jack Frickin’ Bauer.

“Who are you working for?!!!”

Me: “AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” *runs faster, runs harder*

Try it.  It will work for you.  Come back and we’ll share our favorite 24 moments.  And now I must go to bed, for Jack and I have a date at 2pm tomorrow (also known as nap time in this house).

Posted in Exercise, Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You gotta start somewhere, am I right?

So, here I am.  I have been thinking for a while that I want to start an online blog.  There are several reasons:

  1. I have a lot of thoughts running through my head, all day long.  Every day.  And as I am currently in the presence of an almost 3 year-old and a 1-year-old for 12 hours of the day, I feel like they don’t “get” me.  Get me?
  2. I like to write.  No – I LOVE to write.  I’ve written a lot of things in the past, from technical to scientific to creative writing.  I’ve been away from it for far too long.  This is my attempt at dipping my toe back in that water.
  3. Hmm.  Maybe I should have said a “couple” of reasons instead of “several”, eh?

For now I haven’t decided if I want to focus this blog on something specific.  I think I do not.  I think I love the freedom of posting whatever catches my fancy in that moment.  I have several interests so hopefully someone out there will be interested too.  Also, for now, I would like to stay relatively anonymous (please refer to the filtered picture of my current employers, Thing 1 & Thing 2).  But, my name is Danielle.  And it’s lovely to “meet” you.
And I have used way too many quotes in this post.

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