The Edge of Deliciousness

This is probably what I would name the third Bridget Jones movie.  Can you imagine needing to gain 25lbs?  Completely ignoring the health risks, etc. just indulge me for a minute and imagine how totally awesome it would be to get paid quite a lot of money to gain weight.  In actuality, Renée Zellweger will not be gaining weight for her role in the third movie.  She will wear a fat suit.  That must make her sad.  Just think – eating all you want!  Earning money!  Doing both at once!

This is a fantasy of mine.

Well, being able to eat whatever I want and not worry.  It’s my default fantasy right after winning the lottery (no offense to my husband, but this isn’t that kind of blog).  I spent a lot of time thinking about this tonight.  So I thought I’d ask other people how they would gain 25lbs as say, part of their job.  Then I thought, why not make it extra interesting?  Simply eating more of everything is too easy.  I like a challenge after all. What if you could only have 5 different meals?  And then I changed it to 5 meals and 1 dessert because I didn’t want any of my very favorite meals to be left out.  Okay, so these are the rules of the game:

  1. You need to gain 25lbs.  There will be no adverse health risks, you won’t feel lethargic or “icky” inside, and you will revert back to your current weight with no effort at all (I did say it was a game so realism has no place here).
  2. You get to pick 5 meals and 1 dessert ONLY.  It can be any meal you want, and any dessert you want, but you can only eat these things until you gain the 25lbs.
  3. One meal cannot combine several foods, (e.g. Pizza, burgers, steak and fries are not 1 meal.  Something you would realistically consider a meal in your “normal” life).  So, pizza is one meal, a burger is another meal and steak and fries are another meal.  The silver lining is you can eat as many meals as you like in a day.
  4. You can take as long as you need to gain the weight.  Therefore, you might be eating these 5 meals and 1 dessert for a month, 3 months, 6 months, however long it takes you.  Choose wisely, lest you become bored out of your mind and want to stick a fork right in your eye instead of in that 30th serving of lasagna.

Okay!  Here we go.  Comment with your meals and dessert and how much you would love to do this on a scale from 1-10, especially given rule #1.

Of course, I will tell you mine.  Nay, I will show you.

5 Guys

I'm not allowed to eat this in my real life, but in my fantasy I really go to town.


Not just any pizza - Grandma Pizza!

pesto shrimp

My husband makes this dish and it's so good. I would use his recipe.


Mmm...mmmm....mmmmmmmmmmmm. And a side of garlic mashed potatoes, please. I don't even have to throw in a vegetable to make myself feel better because there are no adverse effects and my insides won't feel gross! Oh, heck - I like the taste of green beans with this meal. Let's add those too.


Enchiladas galore. I would add sour scream and avocados on top, too. Lots.

And for dessert….


Oh man.

And there you have it – pretty simple.  I just thought of something else – if this is all I eat for say, 3 months, I would be pretty tired of all of these dishes by the end and would probably never want to eat them again.

As if it would really take me 3 months to gain 25lbs.  Pfft.

Let’s make that an addendum – you won’t get tired of these foods either.  Because that would be too sad.

I make up rules as I go along.  Just ask anyone who’s met me.

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5 Responses to The Edge of Deliciousness

  1. Super Secret Name of Subtlety and Illusion says:

    Can I just pick cream cheese and put it on every single thing I eat? None of this lite stuff either, the good kind that’s loaded with fat and calories and all manner of unhealthy things!!!

  2. Sloane Springer says:

    Mmm. Chocolate cake. 🙂

  3. Jennifer F says:

    1. Drunken noodles with chicken and thom ka soup with chicken. I mostly want the Thom Ka for the coconut milk and the drunken noodles need to be at a comfortable level of spice or else I would dread eating it.
    2. I used to get this amazing pizza called the double decker when I was a kid. It had sauce, cheddar cheese, pepperoni, more cheddar and then mushrooms. I still pine for it.
    3. My favorite local restaurant makes a chicken, asparagus and mushroom ravioli entree that is to die for. I would start off with their house salad that happens to have some bacon and blue cheese crumbles thrown in for good measure.
    4. I have to have a breakfast buffet meal on here. I would have thick cut bacon, a chocolate croissant, half a belgian buttermilk waffle with hot maple syrup and strawberries, an omelette with feta, spinach and tomatoes, crispy hash browns, amazing coffee, a bloody Mary and a mimosa.
    5. I would be lying to myself if I said I could live without French fries. So I would require lots of those with lots of ketchup. Hand cut fries are my favorite. To pair with them I would have buffalo chicken tenders with blue cheese dressing.
    My dessert would be chocolate chip bread putting with a vanilla anglaise.
    I think I just felt my empty fat cells quivering with excitement.


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